Saturday, October 01, 2005

The Deepest Fear

I had another scare of my life yesterday night...right after dinner, namilipit sa sakit ng tiyan ang anim na taon kung bunso. He can't stand straight and had to curl his body, maybe to ease his pain. I had to rush him to the hospital...buti na lang naisipan ko pang makapagpalit ng shorts, nakapantulog na rin ka shorts kasi ako nun (erotic kasi dating ng short shorts). Taranta rin ako sa mga ganung sitwasyun.

I drove the car like Schumacher's Ferrari and in a few minutes nasa ospital na kami. I was so damn worried and confused....i hate seeing any of my family taken to a place for the sick. Ewan, I really hate hospitals (but not doctors, of course). One anecdote i had: My wife had a miscarriage on her first pregnancy, she had a spotting and i had to rush her to a hospital. She was checked by the OB and declaired: " kailangan na nating i-raspa". I asked my mother-in-law the meaning of raspa (it was the first time i heard of that word) and i was shocked to hear it was a forced abortion...nakunan pala asawa ko. And i collapsed right in front of the doctor...namutla ako at hinimatay. Natatawa ang ibang pasyente, paano, imbes na misis ko ang asikasuhin para sa operasyon, eto ako't nakahiga sa hospital, iniintindi ng nurse with matching ammonia to wake my senses. Lumakas lang ang loob ko ng sinabi ng misis ko na ok lang...kaya nya at huwag mag-alala.

Going back to my son...funny thing is, pagdating sa hospital, biglang tumayo at sinabing "ok na ako, nawala na sakit...uwi na tayo". I felt a big relief, i thought it was appendicitis or other things (tinatamaan ba ang bata sa sakit na ganito?) but he was still checked by the doctor and found nothing. Yun pala, nung hapon, siniko siya ng kanyang kalaro. Siguro me nasaktan sa internals nya. But he's ok..so much so, i would also be ok. I get sick when somebody i love is sick, ewan. And i get some shivers each time i step in a hospital.

I would always pray for the health of my family, diyan ako mahina pag me isa sa kanila me sakit.

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